Thursday, April 11, 2013

My personal class blog

Here's a post from my blog, and the link to my blog for anyone interested:

Trying to figure out how this is going to work… just realized I have to be at the hospital all night before my presentation.  I hope I can get all my drawings done in time, and I hope the henna comes in the mail by then!!!  

I guess I shouldn’t freak out.  If it doesn’t work out, I can always do the drawings later and take pictures to show the class.  

I have once again decided to take my project in a bit of a different direction.  I had originally planned to write out a few lines of poetry or something to that effect to go along with each picture.  Now I’m thinking just one word would be more poignant and effective.  For the hand picture, “hold”.  Lung will be “breathe”.  I want to also do like ovaries, fallopian tubes and uterus and maybe use “life” as the word?  Or… hmm.  Is that the right word for it?  Or “female” or “woman”.  I kinda like “woman” actually.  That might change, we’ll see. Heart… hmm.  I want to kind of say “feel” or “love”.  Even though I know that obviously our hearts have absolutely nothing to do with feelings or love, people always say you feel with your heart and think with your head.  And honestly, even though anatomically I know exactly (and I do mean exactly… you can’t possibly know the hourrrrrrs I’ve spent learning the circulatory system haha) how the heart works, I am the sort of person who generally relies more on feelings.  I know that sometimes logical thought is the better course of action, and many of the mistakes I’ve made in my life have come from me being too hasty to make decisions based on how I feel.  But I also think that some of the best decisions I’ve made have been based on feelings.  Yeah, I think “feel” is a good word for the heart.  Brain stem will probably be “know”.  

I think I’ve just had a revelation about how I’m going to present this.  I think I’m going to talk about how, even though as humans we all have these same internal structures that more or less look and function in the same way, all of them mean such different things to us based on our own personal selves.  Everyone’s hands have held different people and things and done all different sorts of work whether it’s art or medicine or cooking or writing or anything!  Lord knows our hearts feel different things and our heads know different things.  Sex organs… everyone feels differently about those.  Personally, I think, or rather I know, that hormones have played a huge role in my life.  I have a condition where I get cysts on my ovaries, I’ve had it all my life (it’s called PCOS).  It’s caused be an overexposure to hormones while in utero.  Interestingly enough, 40% of women with PCOS are lesbians, which I think is probably a huge reason behind my being gay.  That’s kind of another story though… I think heart and head and every aspect of my life plays into that as well.  But, there’s no denying that sex organs/hormones have played a role.  They’re also integral, to me, because having a feminine body I think has developed my sense of gender over the course of my life.  In that sense I definitely have a positive view of that area of my body.  I know though, that for many people, their sense of self doesn’t match up with the sex organs they possess (which I think is really sad).  So they could absolutely be viewed by some in a negative light.  

Ok now I need to go jot down some notes on what I’m going to say for this presentation.  I’m glad that all just came to me!

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